Adoption Life books: When You Don’t Have Much Information
Crafting a life book may seem like a overwhelming task. If you aren’t a particular crafty person or don’t have much information about your child’s life before he or she became a part of your life, it can be hard to figure out where to start.
Each family that adopts has a different kind of relationship with their birth mother. It can very from one end of the spectrum to the other. For example, I’ve met families who actually have the birth mother baby sit the child on occasion. Other families meet the birth mom once or twice a year for a visit at a park. Sadly, some families know nothing about their child’s birth mom than perhaps her name and city in which she gave birth.
Many families have two or more adopted children and the relationships of the different birthmoms with the family vary. One birthmom may be very involved, while others have no contact at all. When this happens, oftentimes a birthmom of one child will go out of her way send notes or small gifts to the sibling of the child to make sure each child feels included and loved.
When you have a relationship with a birthmom you may have any information you want for your child’s adoption book. She may be eager to help out to make sure the child has a wonderful book.
If you are an adoptive parent who doesn’t have much information about your child’s birth or birth family, don’t worry. You can still make a book that shares whatever you know and helps complete your child’s history.
Case in point, one of the most important parts of the life book is about the biological mother, but you may not even have a photograph of her. One idea is to include a quotation or poem about how birth moms typically feel. Then journal something like, “Birth moms and dads give their special DNA to their children. I’ll be your dark shiny hair came from your dad!”
Sometimes you may not even know the birthdate of your child or where he or she was born. Rather than calling attention to this fact, write something like, “You were probably born sometime during the winter of 2005 because when you came to the orphanage you weight about the same as the other children born about that time.”
Understand that it’s the amount of love and effort that you put into the life book that will most impress your child. As he grows older and starts to ask more questions, plan to do some of the research together to help answer the questions that arise. Until then, get started and don’t let a lack of information thwart you from crafting a loving adoption scrapbook album for your child. Kids love reading stories about themselves and they have the best imagination, having fun make up their own stories to fill in any blanks.